About those discovery calls . . .
I’ve recently had two of those ‘let’s connect and get to know each other better’ calls. Both left me feeling a bit, well, slimed.
It feels as if I’m being introduced to someone at a party: I extend my hand, smile and prepare to say hello. But before I can get the words out, the other person has dived past my hand, whipped out a tape measure and starts taking my measurements, up, down, around and sideways.
All the while she’s taking my measurements, she’s asking me a battery of probing personal questions:
Are you quite happy with the clothes you’re wearing?
Do you feel bad that your cuffs are too long?
In a sentence, how would you describe the look you were going for?
Do you think your style should be a bit more put together by now?
Hey, lady! I never asked for a new dress!
These people would get further if they devoted the call to exploring our commonality, and maybe making a new friend (and I love helping my friends). The wisdom they would demonstrate in that approach might just attract me – perhaps even enough to become a client, if they were offering something I needed.
It’s not that I don’t want a new dress. I just don’t want to have one thrown over my head when I’m not expecting it!
If you want to do a discovery call, try the truth – it still works fine.
Try: “I’d love to speak with you because I think I could help your business.” Or, “I would really like to help you succeed.” Nothing wrong with that. It gives the person the respect of informed consent before they commit their time to the call.
My new series on the Divine Feminine is helping my viewers and me become clearer about the difference between the masculine and the feminine approach to business, and to life. Even though I was schooled in a rather macho approach to success and achievement, my heart yearns for the softness of a more feminine approach, and my experience (when I manage to let go and be in the flow) bears me out. Even when I was a young dancer, I got more opportunities by organically being in someone’s orbit rather than through cold call auditions. (I once got a job offer at a picnic, without the person offering ever having seen me dance! I ended up working in that studio for several years.)
Aggressive discovery calls are just not for me, not as giver nor receiver. And fear-based marketing is not my style either. I’d rather give real value and insight, rather than the widely recommended ‘teasers’ and insecurity-generating manipulations about how lost you’ll be if you don’t sign up yesterday.
I figure that if I don’t like being manipulated, neither will others. If I can recognize and value genuine compassion, caring and wisdom, so will others.
One of the surprises of my coaching career so far has been seeing several friends become clients. I didn’t anticipate it, and it’s not something I encourage, as I value my friendships more than anything. I guess it boils down to a ‘know, like and trust’ factor that’s not a marketing strategy; we really do know, like and trust each other, and I am enormously honored by their faith and trust they show me.
In the same way, on my show, Paint Yourself Into the Picture, I treat the conversations as ‘tea with a friend.’ I like to let things flow organically; more good stuff happens that way.
As this week’s guest on Paint Yourself Into the Picture, Sue Kearney, Chief Inspiration Officer at Magnolia’s West, says, the divine feminine way “is not linear like a ladder, like you do this step, and then you do this step, and then you get to success. I see it as more of a spiral.”
As Sue puts it, “A woman has her own tides and her own timing.”
Click here for a deeply honest conversation with Sue – and be sure to bring your cup of tea! Enjoy this exploration of what it might be like to welcome more of our natural timing and tides in our businesses.
What’s your takeaway? Please share in the comments, below.
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