Self-love! I have such respect for those with the courage and the wisdom to dive right to the heart of the topic.
It is ALL about self-love!
Self-love is the filter through which we view the world. How you treat yourself ‘sets the dial’ for your relationships with everything else in your life:
* How much wealth do you allow?
* How much love is the ‘right amount’?
* How much success do you ‘permit’?
* What level of vitality is ‘good enough’?
* How much happiness is ‘OK’?
Self-love changes EVERYTHING!
In Imagine Self-Love, I was privileged to be able to offer readers tools, exercises and tips that I’ve learned on my personal journey, to boost their ‘self-love reflex’ and help them step past old, limiting inner programming and access greater joy in their lives
Self-love can be a challenging and scary a topic for many people. Many need to approach it sideways, via another subject, by focusing, for examples, on diet, or dressing for success, or self-care, or addiction recovery, or clutter clearing, or career building, or making your first million.
So it’s a joy to connect with others who are ‘onto’ the importance of self-love like I am. Cheryl Bridges has written a lovely book, Me, Myself & I: 28 Days of Creative Self-Love. Though our styles are different, we share a similar mission. Her book, like mine, dives deep into the core of the experience of self-love. Like mine, her book asks the reader to go within and shed light even into the dark places.
This is from Day 9 of Cheryl’s book: “We learn fears and make them our own, claiming them as original from the factory, rather than replacement parts!”
Exactly! We’ve been chugging along on ‘replacement parts!’ We’ve become convinced that this clinking and clanking is as good as it gets, until one day we wake up and remember that we can fly!
I picture life as a long detour: we start at Point A, innocent babies with open faces and a heavenly scent. And then we begin to learn how to be human, and how to fit into the world around us. We cover up that innocent trust and start to adopt what Cheryl calls our “replacement parts!” We shape ourselves to avoid pain, and to conform to what others expect of us. We develop strategies, as best we can, to hide or suppress the parts that make us vulnerable to criticism, shame or abuse.
In short, we grow. We are headed straight for Point Z, about as far from point A as we can get. We’ve run from pain, and yet we find that we have invited a different kind of pain into our lives: the pain of losing our authentic selves and of feeling less alive.
Our original state was like a pure bright light, and we have laid layers of coverings over that beautiful light.
Self-Love helps us gently tug at some of the layers we have laid across our souls.
Those layers over the souls were adopted for good reason – they were the only way we knew how to protect ourselves from pain or shame as children. But now, as adults, those protective coverings no longer serve us. Self-love brings us back to our authentic, innocent beauty.
Imagine the relief of releasing limiting beliefs that have been weighing you down for years, or even decades!
Imagine the freedom of untying those constricting self-definitions about what you are ‘allowed’ to be, or do, or desire, or achieve!
Imagine the joy when, at long last, you recognize the beautiful being of light and love that you truly are!
Cheryl asks: “Could it be that we never lose our love for ourselves, it’s just that fears eclipse it?” And here’s her tip on how you can tell what is ruling your experience: “if you don’t feel fully alive, there is fear at work behind the scenes.” What a wonderful insight! Her journaling exercise is to “ask yourself, “Is there a fear at work here?”
I connected to Day 9 because I know fear well. I grew up conditioned with the message that my feelings and needs did not matter. My survival strategy as a child was to make all kinds of silent bargains about giving to others, so that eventually (I reasoned), it would be my turn.
I worked my end of the bargain, but my turn never came. And so I learned an even deeper lesson about how it would never be my turn. Those are painful lessons and, what’s more, they are NOT TRUE! Through self-love we can shake those beliefs loose and get back to the pure, shining, innocence, abundance and joy that is our natural state of being.
Courageous self-acceptance is the doorway to self-love. When we see our beliefs, really see them, and feel the pain of them, too, we move on. When we were children we had no power to say to the adults around us that “This isn’t right!” As adults, we can correct the past, and say to ourselves:
“It wasn’t right, and it wasn’t true. You deserved and deserve better. You are a beautiful, shining child of G-d, worthy of every joy, abundance and opportunity that life has to offer! It is your turn now!”
The challenges we face are opportunities and gifts in disguise, calling us back to our authentic self, and to the loving reunion with our closest friend and ally: the self.
Take the journey of self-love! Find a guide that speaks to you. Pick up Imagine Self-Love:
Or Cheryl’s book, Me, Myself & I:
Just begin the journey to self-love!
I THRILLED: Imagine Self-Love is now an e-course offered by the Daily OM:
“9 Self-Love Keys to Change Your Life,” gently walks you through 9 lessons in self-love.
Move at your own pace, with the benefit of an exclusive online forum where you can interact with other participants in the course and with me personally as well.
9 Self-Love Keys to Change Your Life is offered by the Daily OM on a pay what you wish basis – how awesome is that!? Most folks are signing up for between $10 and $25 – for NINE MODULES!
Get ready to fall in love again with that one most special, most precious and amazing person in your life: YOU.